Small Wins to Deal with Grief

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Absolutely nothing or no one can prepare anyone for a loss of a loved one, in our case, loved ones in a span of one year. It was difficult to find comfort in people's words. We somehow had to lean on the Lord and find some comfort in His words.

As a result of the tragic losses, our family has also consulted with a grief counselor. Our grief counselor said that after a loss, people grieve differently and that people go through the stages of grief several times. Elizabeth Kübler-Ross's model of the stages of grief includes Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.

As we try to get back to our lives, and our work, we know we will never be the same again. There continues to be the void we seem to hope to fill. If we continue to ask the whys, the what ifs, we might go crazy. And I know there may never be a substantial answer for us on the whys and the what ifs that the human mind can fathom. So we just continue to lean to the Lord.

In Nora McInerny's Ted Talk, she said,"...A grieving person is going to laugh and smile again...They're going to move forward. But that doesn't mean that they have moved on." I agree.


I try to somewhat imitate this delish Strawberry &
Ricotta dish from Bungalow Cafe (Philippines)
So, every day, we just try to move forward. Just doing small wins. Even making myself my fave breakfast of toasted sourdough smeared moderately with cream cheese, with sliced strawberries and blackberries and topped with slightly crushed walnuts and drizzled with Manuka honey, pairing it with a flat white, is a small win (This is such a delish and satisfying breakfast by the way we tried to imitate from the Bungalow cafe in the Philippines ). Taking a shower is a small win. Doing the laundry is a small win. Getting a dose of sunlight and doing a 20-minute walk are small wins. Buying groceries is a small win. In my case, attending and renewing my CPR (cardio-pulmonary resuscitation) card the other day was a small win. 

So I concur with Nora when she said that with grief,  there is no moving on, there is just moving forward with it. So if every day, we can just acknowledge small wins, we can help ourselves just move forward and get out of the rut.